TheFragileMindOfAHuman

My mind tends to think. I don't know what else minds are for except for thinking. So what do I think about? Well, a lot of things. Good things, bad things, things that need answers, stories from my imagination, and some random thoughts about food. But what about prayer? Do I pray with my mind? Or with my heart? Or maybe neither of those. Maybe I just use my Spirit. I tend to forget prayer very often. Thankfully, every meal tends to jog my memory about prayer before I gorge myself. But even then I just quickly mumble [to God] and then jump into my meal, not really giving it much thought. I am a slacker. Plain and simple. Praying would probably be on my top 5 easiest things to do, right next to eating, sleeping, and daydreaming. But why is it that I only do it for.... Hmmm, maybe 1 minute a day, in total (including mealtimes and IF I remember to pray before I knock out)?

Anyways, just another problem to think about.

The last week I did some web surfing and I found myself looking up articles and books about atheism and Christianity. I am just weird that way. I don't really know why, maybe because I am human, but once in a blue moon I feel like finding other people who either fully accept the Gospel and people who completely and utterly reject it. I just find it so odd that people think so differently from each other. I read one comment that resounds with praise and adoration to God, but the next comment on the same article screams out in hatred towards God and all of His 'weak, idiotic followers.' 

The whole reason behind me sifting through the internet to find articles about atheism and Christianity is probably because I am trying to seek conformation through other people about my own faith. It is just disturbing to see people disagree about things that are so important. Who is right? Am I right? There is no real way to prove my faith. That's why we call it faith. We have faith because it DOESN'T make sense. I mean, if the choice was obvious then most people would be Christians. Well, the Bible says otherwise. Jesus said that even if He did miracles and signs that are obviously divine people would still reject Him. Which makes me even more distressed.

I am seeking conformation of my faith by looking at other people. I shouldn't. I should only be looking towards God. God will give me plenty of reasons and 'proof' that He is real, in time, through my life, when I grow, He will show me, and only to me. And it makes me kind of excited.

It is extremely hard to accept the fact that there are people out there who openly reject God. Even if they saw miracles and people's lives change right before their eyes, they would still reject Him. Why? Why does God allow people to outright reject Him so blatantly? I don't think I know, Dear Reader. Not to be mean or anything, but you probably don't know why either.