Okay, I'll just delete my blog after this post...
I finally got around to reading the first couple of chapters of John. Good? Yes. But I need to start dwelling on the Lord more than dwelling on things of this world. It's just so hard to do. I keep finding myself in the same hole I just crawled out of, you know? My vices are just so easy to get tangled up in. Day after day I find myself concerned over things that don't matter; things that'll fade away into nothingness. Human's just love to waste their time on wasting time. I am a living, breathing chunk of proof to that statement.
Being a Christian means that I am free from the shackles of sin. I have found the Light of the world. But does that mean the darkness is gone? Well, yes AND no. I now have a lamp unto my feet, but the darkness is very much around me... Because I am still a fallen human in a fallen world. I tend to lean towards death when I am not resting in the Lord (which accounts for 98% of my day). So there you have it. When I grow up and people want to hear my testimony I'll just say it right to their faces,
"I don't have one."
Being a child born into Christianity I never had that crazy transformation. Maybe I am still waiting for it... But people who became Christians as adults knew the very moment they turned to God. I honestly don't know when my death-filled life ended and when my Christian life began. I. Don't. Know. Was it 8? 10? Or maybe when I started homeschooling when I was 12? I am at a lost if you ask me that question. Even if I could recall the day I started my Christian walk nothing would have changed. I would have just done my same old routine whether I became a Christian or not. I never did anything physically sinful (or should I say, with consequence). I was scotch (tape) free. So I didn't have to turn away from my drug addiction or greed; I didn't have any of those problems. I may have the lamest testimony in the history of testimonies.
Why did I become a Christian? Well, at first I wanted to be a Christian because my parents and Elder Sage Siblings were and I wanted to hop on the band wagon too. Of course, now that I have grown up as a Christian, who has fully accepted Jesus as my personal Savior, I now realize the overwhelming importance of it all. Maybe growing up in a Christian family is entirely different from becoming a Christian (Yes, I know, you still have to make a personal covenant whether you grew up in a Christian family or not). People transform from night to day when they repent from their evil habits. For me? I just turned from a "care-free tween" to a "beat myself up whenever I think bad thoughts teenager."
Starting on a new topic, I had a discussion with the WOMO and she veered me back on the right course. School is important! I know it is, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Being homeschooled, secluded, and barely doing any school work isn't exactly a recipe for a successful and fulfilling school year. I just told her that school is flat out BORING (and short). But she said WAIT. Right now I am waiting for my time to head off to college with an actual campus with people that actually populate that campus! I get excited just thinking about it, and I am so grateful that I am looking forward to it. As a homeschooling teen all I can do is wait.... Waiting is so fun and enjoyable, why, I could just kill a puppy.
Goodbye depressing loser, hello joyous loser!
I maybe a loser, but I am with the Winner. Isn't that all that matters?
"Amen! Hallelujah!! HELP EM LOOORRRDDDDD!!!"
~Elder Helga "The Boar Stomper"
Oh, my word, just come over to our house already! You depressed little scrumble (I sincerely hope you have watched crazy horse. Ehm, olan Rogers).
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you, Michael.
Well, there goes my cover. It's all over. Ahaha, well thanks Rebekah, your prayers are greatly appreciated. Boy, do I need em.
Delete"Was it 8? 10? Or maybe when I started homeschooling when I was 12? I am at a lost if you ask me that question."---Totally agreed, nothing makes me quake in my boots more then someone asking me this insanely difficult question. My answer changes every time [which is even lamer]
ReplyDeleteAs far as the whole get a life at college thing. It's well worth the wait. I never knew all the glories joys that come with going to school with really-real PEOPLE.
1. The murmuring voices of apathetic students on the subject of Algebra.
2. Getting told from a teacher that a downpour of colds and flus are coming my way mid-semester.
3. Trying to find the one and only left-handed desk, and seeing that an old dude has it. BTW did I mention he's right handed?
Patience is a seed most homeschoolers sow extra rows of, but in the end more contentment and satisfaction are gained.