BurningTheMidnightOil

Being someone who doesn't have any responsibilities you tend to find yourself wanting to try new things. I did. What new thing, you ask? Well, why don't I try experiencing life on the other side? There are two parts in the day: day and night. I never really experienced a 12 hour night....awake. So here I am doing the wackiest thing I have ever done in my life: living during the night and sleeping during the day. The eerie calm at night makes it easier to relax, but after a few days of experiencing this I am going to revert back to normal. Life at night is pretty boring since the outside world is closed off to a minor. Without a driver license I can't do anything but sit here in the darkness and write a blog post.

I wanted to thank my Dear Readers for the extremely encouraging comments! I know I am being a stick in the mud, but these things really do concern me. Sitting around and doing nothing all day sounds like a blessing, but for some obvious reason I feel unfulfilled. I really want to go to college, but something keeps suppressing those desires. My existence is a conundrum at best. If I spend too much time thinking about life I find myself in a state of depression. Which is horrible! I should look on life positively. Is this just another side affect of adolescence? I sure hope so.

The parents and I will be heading off to New Mexico for the Eldest Sage Sibling's graduation. Am I excite? Not really. But the idea of driving hundreds of miles into another state does sound fascinating since I have been confined to an island for most of my life. However, I recently heard that shortly after graduation he will head to Idaho. Da heck? Idaho? All I know about Idaho is that potato people live there. Plus, it is so far removed from our location. Hmmm, this might work in my favor. A surprise visit from Yours Truly sounds like fun.

The family is growing up, indeed. A frighting prospect since I still see us as little kids kicking around in the dirt. For the last two years I have had to spend my 16th and 17th year alone, as a single child. This short two year period of being an only child confirmed a few things. One being that I relied on them a lot for many things, and two being that I really had no one to talk to without them. I am so thankful for my siblings. Without them I would have probably ended up as I am now. Alone and cynical. Having two people close to you not only redefines your character, but also makes you a better person. For all of you single kids out there, you have my sincerest sympathies. Now that I am turning 18 I will be considered an adult. Even though that day is coming up in a few months, I can say for sure that I don't 'feel' like an adult. I probably wont until I move out, which is, thankfully, at least 10 years away. Aha, I am kidding.....? *insert evil smile*

Growing up is scary, I wont lie. It is so ironic thinking back to when I was a tween, I always wanted to be an adult. Now being 17, I plead with youth to stay with me forever. Saddening. Adulthood is starting to creep up on my Elder Sage Siblings and seeing them change and mature makes me think about my growth. When the rubber meets the pavement will I have the drive to live a good, Christian life? Will I eat my vegetables without being told? Will I work hard? Ack, why can't I just forget about this stuff?

As time passes on I am finding out more and more as to how much of a coward I really am. It is very humbling, embarrassing, and annoying.