CollegeWithATouchOfScarf

What have I been up to for the last month? No good! Well, at least in my book. But I think most people would disagree with me. I set up my colleges. Yup, I am ready to go. My classes are all chosen. I start at the end of August.

Is this what I am suppose to pursue?

I always thought that college was a waste of everyone's time and money, but to be honest....I don't really care for the education. I just want to be around people again. The classroom atmosphere, the buzzing of humans, and the constant pressure to perform and do my duties. I need something like that. The last year has been smooth sailing. I enjoyed it greatly, but this chapter must end. A new one must begin. A chapter that will define the rest of my life:

The college years. (Que depressing piano/cello duet)

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I am, indeed, anxious. But I feel excitement more than anything else. I think I am ready for this new adventure. Can I really call it an adventure? I will be commuting from home, so I wont be living anywhere new. Ah, at least it will be an adventure for those brief hours at the college. My schedule looks relaxed, which is greatly welcomed.

Oh! On another note. I finally turned 18. Great, now I have no excuse to get my driver license. I don't mind driving, I actually enjoy it. But the people driving alongside me are too much. Why is everyone in such a rush? Speeding through yellows, honking their horns, going 10 mph over the speed limit, and just being plain inpatient. America needs to take a chill pill if you ask for my professional opinion. I like to take things slow. Which is obviously the right way to go about things, after all, it is my preference. Pftt, pathetic.

Don't be too jelly of my scarf now, babe

Wow, I got cynical really fast. I really have to watch myself when I talk with people that aren't family. I am just too used to spouting what I think. I mean, why would you ever speak honestly with strangers? Lord forbid, right?

So now that I am 18 I have to start thinking like an adult, WRONG. I was always thinking like an adult since I turned 13. I have just been honing my thought process for the last 5 years. I can say with confidence that I am think like a mature and wise 65 year old man. You know, I don't wanna give myself too much credit.

Hmmm, I think college is going to give me a good dose of reality. Along with a good dose of friends and fun times! Ah, the naivety of a new 18 year old man-child.

I expect my first semester to be eye-opening. Girls falling in love with me and my scarf, boys being jelly of my scarf, teachers praising me and my scarf, and people just being jelly when they see me going to college in said scarf. Life is going to be kind to me and my scarf. Surely no one will not care for me and my Scarf, right?

Well, this is the end of Volume V. I can't believe I have been doing this for 2 years. I remember when I first started. It was the last night before my Elder Sage Siblings were both heading to college to leave me as an only child for the next 2 years. In those 2 years I grew and found out a lot about myself. Most of it was depressing and infuriating, but I learned to love myself, flaws and all, just like Jesus does. However, I am still growing, still learning, still beating the same old trees, still. But that is okay, I am human after all. If God expected us to be relatively perfect he would be the biggest hypocrite in the history of history.

"Last time I checked, God isn't a hypocrite. I am. He isn't flawed. I am."

                                                                                                      ~Missingnomer (yup, I am gooooood)

Sadly (but still true) those words will take me the rest of my life to accept.

SomePointsToSmootheOut

Things are starting to pan out, I think. You ever been through one of those, "There are way too many new things happening at once!" Feelings? Cause when you have nothing going on and then are thrown into the "get into college right now" pit it sure feels that way....

Some people, er, maybe most people would say that I should make some acquaintances. I would have to agree, secluding myself to just family is not the best. I need a fresh perspective on life. The stagnant days that pass by in the house suffocate any emotions of excitement or adventure. College seems to be that antidote my poisoned body needs. Not that seclusion and isolation is a bad thing, it is actually something I believe everyone should have. That short period of aloneness (I don't think that is a word) makes you appreciate others. I miss my friends, but now there is a new opportunity to make new ones. New, that seems to be the word of my life for the last five months. I can't say I welcome its company.

After watching that long video (which was actually very short when I started to watch it) made by my Elder Sage Sibling I actually miss the ocean. Who would of thunk?

Ah, the sweetness of memories. The sweetness is actually too sweet. If I dwell on it for too long it starts to sting my mind-tongue. When I finished watching it, all I wanted to do was make more memories. Can you guys make my wish come true? Only a few thousand dollars away! That's chump change when you think about it. *cough*

In all seriousness, life has been a bevvy of pondering. How can one go about thinking about the nature of life so much? Everyday I find myself thinking about it. Is this like, the last stage of puberty or something? Ahaha, if it is I must say, it is the hardest stage by far. I have never found myself in so much dilemmas concerning my life. My Christian walk just complicates everything. I keep focusing on all the negatives and give no time to the positives. Free-time, AWESOME! But unproductive. So very unproductive, but no one says I have to be productive, yet. Though now I am actually starting to enjoy this life a leisure. The hourglass is starting to run out, so I shall gladly enjoy these remaining months.

Life in America is simple, dangerously simple. But having no responsibilities is so nice. Now that I am signing up for college I have tasted the slight tang of responsibility. In fact, I am just about ready to sign up or classes. Do I like it? Why would you even ask that? It is on the same line of asking someone if they enjoyed their open heart surgery. NO! It was terrible! The thing is that I will have to get used it. Sitting in class again. I haven't done that in 7 years. I might be out of touch. I am too used to the teacher not noticing my loud snoring. Video homeschooling, what a privilege I took for granted.

All I seem to talk about is college and the intricacies of life. But that is what is real in my life right now. What is real in your life right now? I would love to hear about your problems too. 

My sister and I finished watching an anime together. Yeah! Crazy, huh? It seems like I corrupted another person, HUH?!?!?

I re-watched Fate/Zero with her. I watched it a couple of years ago and claimed it to be my favorite anime show ever (if you ever bothered to look an my MAL account you would realize that me saying something like that is kind of a big deal). Now that I watched it a second time it refreshed everything. Now I love Fate/Zero even more. The two (three if you wanna get deep) main questions that the show asks are, "What makes someone virtuous? Who decides that?" And the second question is, "What truly makes somebody a king?" The latter question is a bit odd to ask just anybody, but I believe every Christian should delve into it. After all, Jesus is supposedly the King of Kings, right? What makes somebody a king? 

When we finished the show I wanted to hear her thoughts on it. I am obviously extremely biased when it concerns Fate/Zero, so I wanted to see if other people shared my same thoughts and feelings towards it. She seemed unresponsive to it. She claimed the show to be very depressing and sad (both valid facts). But I was looking past that and trying to see what the author was conveying to the audience. He questioned the very fabric of humanity, which I do all the time. There are no answers to these questions, we can attempt to answer them, but someone will always see the answer to be something else entirely. I can't claim to know the right answers to these questions, but I love dwelling on them and discussing them with others. Not only are the questions the show poses life changing, but the story and characters that come along with the extremely mature thematic elements all tell an amazing story. 

Ha, I just promoted an anime. I deserve money.....

TheUnraveledJoy

I find myself pausing a lot in life. A pause to reflect, and a pause to regret. Ah, I like that....

Life is just a trail we all walk. It just so happens that I am on the Christian trail, which happens to be very narrow and depressing. But shouldn't a Christian be happy? Nope. Just joyful in the slightest sense. I am joyful! Joyful because I have everlasting life and eternal forgiveness and acceptance. However, the ticket to a happy life is nothing but a childish pipe dream. Reality has so many things in store for me, good and bad. I should take it in strides. Then again, playing it slow is also nice.

I am comfortable right now. But isn't that bad? Maybe.

I sent my SAT and GED scores to the college I have chosen. All that is left is a Meningitis vaccination. Things are moving along, but it feels so mundane. I know what is going to happen. Go to college, get my piece of paper, get a job, etc etc. Having a life planned out isn't so bad. I suppose watching so many movies and TV shows makes me obligated to have an exciting and mysterious life, but really, what does that accomplish? Peaceful and uneventful, sounds good to me.

Everyone has their beliefs and convictions, so do I. But is it right to press those beliefs onto others? Maybe, but how do I share to someone without coming off as a self-righteous dweeb? I guess I'll find out as time goes on.

I tell my family that I consider myself to be wiser and smarter than most people, but in saying that does that make me foolish and stupid? Can a wise person ever claim to be wise? If I think myself as wise, am I? True wisdom comes from Above, I know that. I read the Bible sometimes, I pray, and I glean from others who have experience, but to truly KNOW something don't you have to experience it yourself? 

Some people go through terrible things in life and others, like me, have yet experience anything of consequence. Is that a blessing? Or a curse?

A few things have been bothering me for a while, and they should! Often I find myself forgetting the problems in front of me. Things that shouldn't be pushed to the side. Who is God? What is God? Why should I care? Is it possible to care? We are humans. We were created, but for what purpose? To give glory to the One who made us? If you take God and turn Him into just another human being than wouldn't we just call that person arrogant and childish? Making an entire universe just to give Himself glory? Are you stupid? But I don't fell that way. I actually feel honored. Why is that? Is it BECAUSE He is God? Or because His reasons are so holy and righteous you just can't get mad at Him?

But people are mad at Him! Either through ignorance or sin, we all have a punch we would very much like to give God. I wouldn't mind giving Him a couple of good punches to were it really hurts, but I am not angry at Him. Just confused. Am I brainwashed or insane? Who really knows why I believe what I believe. It sounds like it is straight out of a fairy tail written by a mad man. 

Logic itself goes against God. Why?

My mind is starting to hurt, but through all the questions and confusion I am at peace.

A peace that transcends human understanding. 

Graduating600MilesAway

"I couldn't help but notice. Is this the FINAL Hyperbolic Ramble!?"

"Your tone.... It's as if your almost happy."

"Almost?! I am ecstatic! What joyous news!"

"Ahahaha, joyous indeed!"

"Ahahahahahaaaha!!!! Please don't let gooo!"

"Ahahaha.....Ahhhhh...."

"Dude? Dude, you are, FREAKING ME OUT!"

                                                                                                        ~Flight and Missingnomer



My first road trip! How exciting! The lingering scent of oil, cows, and asphalt still prevails in my nostrils!

650+ miles in one direction by car. Who wouldn't sign up for that? My records of long car rides only recall of times being carsick from a simple 2 hour car ride (1 hour car ride for you crazies) from my hometown to a very well known town on the other side of the island. That's it. I have never experienced a 12 hour trek by land. It sounds daunting, but otherwise bearable. On top of the long journey we would have to travel by interstate, which has a 80 mph speed limit. Good grief. I thought 60 was pushing the bar.

After a while though, you get used to it. Actually, when we did have to slow down during moments we passed through small towns it really annoyed me. I guess after you go 80 mph for a long period of time 60 mph is just never fast enough. I think I'm broken.

The whole reason we undertook this expedition was to congratulate my Eldest Sage Sibling, who was graduating after 4 years of intensive study. It was worth the trip to say the least. But during the whole day we spent getting to his University, we were greeted by wrong turns, vague directions, and a slew of small annoyances that compounded into a very distraught family. Yelling, screaming, face-palms, and offensive dialogue took place among all five of us when we finally arrived at our destination. It was pure chaos and confusion. I was biting my lip half of the time trying to hold back my slew of insults that would have only stoked the raging inferno that was our little family of 5. Hostility was the name of the game, but we managed to pack away my Elder Sage Siblings belongings into our little car. Since they were both moving out of their living abodes at their University we had to stuff all of their belongings into a very small compact car, thankfully we prevailed.

The graduation ceremony.... To sum it up in one word? Boring. It was so boring. Two hours of just sitting there hearing the names of people I don't even know. But hey, this is my Elder Sage's moment, not mine. Though it was amusing to hear people from the stands cry out and scream when they heard their beloveds name being spoken. It was a sort of game. Whoever's family could holler and scream the loudest won. Of course, we participated with our halfhearted squeals of delight when my Elder Sage's name was spoken, but we all know who won that fight. That Mexican family with 20+ members flying off their chairs with their hands in the air. Mexicans sure know how to scream....

After that whole ordeal, I mean, joyous ceremony, we said a few hellos, took some pictures, and called it a day, or so I thought. Apparently there was TWO graduation ceremonies that were being held that day. We attended the first ceremony in the morning. The second was to take place in the evening. It just so happened that my Eldest Sage sibling wanted to go to that one too.

"After hearing that, I just couldn't hold myself back! I just HAD to attend that second ceremony too!"

"Ahh, sarcasm at its finest."

"I'm happy you at least get me, Flight."

*GASP* "I am too!"

"Good. Now put the vending machine away."

"Okay."

                                                                                           ~Missingnomer and Flight

The weird thing was that both of my siblings would be attending a retreat of sorts in Florida the next day after graduation. So we didn't have much time to spend with them, but the time we did have was very enjoyable.

You can imagine, the trip home was very 'tight', but we persevered. Now that we are back home, safe and sound, we eagerly await the return of the Elder Sage Siblings. This coming Summer is going to be filled with more and more uncertainties and fun. I look forward to it. Alas, this is the last Hyperbolic Ramble. I sure hope you enjoyed these segments between my regular Chronicles.

"So this is it? Hyperbolic Done?"

"For now, at least. Yeah."

"Nice, but just one last thing before we call it."

"Hm?"

"Why do we always look different in every picture?"

"Shhh! We don't have any artists backing up this blog, we have to use what we can find, man."

"Ohhhh, lame."

"Oh, shut up, just strike a pose."

"This is Missingnomer and Flight, SIGNING OFF!!!"

BurningTheMidnightOil

Being someone who doesn't have any responsibilities you tend to find yourself wanting to try new things. I did. What new thing, you ask? Well, why don't I try experiencing life on the other side? There are two parts in the day: day and night. I never really experienced a 12 hour night....awake. So here I am doing the wackiest thing I have ever done in my life: living during the night and sleeping during the day. The eerie calm at night makes it easier to relax, but after a few days of experiencing this I am going to revert back to normal. Life at night is pretty boring since the outside world is closed off to a minor. Without a driver license I can't do anything but sit here in the darkness and write a blog post.

I wanted to thank my Dear Readers for the extremely encouraging comments! I know I am being a stick in the mud, but these things really do concern me. Sitting around and doing nothing all day sounds like a blessing, but for some obvious reason I feel unfulfilled. I really want to go to college, but something keeps suppressing those desires. My existence is a conundrum at best. If I spend too much time thinking about life I find myself in a state of depression. Which is horrible! I should look on life positively. Is this just another side affect of adolescence? I sure hope so.

The parents and I will be heading off to New Mexico for the Eldest Sage Sibling's graduation. Am I excite? Not really. But the idea of driving hundreds of miles into another state does sound fascinating since I have been confined to an island for most of my life. However, I recently heard that shortly after graduation he will head to Idaho. Da heck? Idaho? All I know about Idaho is that potato people live there. Plus, it is so far removed from our location. Hmmm, this might work in my favor. A surprise visit from Yours Truly sounds like fun.

The family is growing up, indeed. A frighting prospect since I still see us as little kids kicking around in the dirt. For the last two years I have had to spend my 16th and 17th year alone, as a single child. This short two year period of being an only child confirmed a few things. One being that I relied on them a lot for many things, and two being that I really had no one to talk to without them. I am so thankful for my siblings. Without them I would have probably ended up as I am now. Alone and cynical. Having two people close to you not only redefines your character, but also makes you a better person. For all of you single kids out there, you have my sincerest sympathies. Now that I am turning 18 I will be considered an adult. Even though that day is coming up in a few months, I can say for sure that I don't 'feel' like an adult. I probably wont until I move out, which is, thankfully, at least 10 years away. Aha, I am kidding.....? *insert evil smile*

Growing up is scary, I wont lie. It is so ironic thinking back to when I was a tween, I always wanted to be an adult. Now being 17, I plead with youth to stay with me forever. Saddening. Adulthood is starting to creep up on my Elder Sage Siblings and seeing them change and mature makes me think about my growth. When the rubber meets the pavement will I have the drive to live a good, Christian life? Will I eat my vegetables without being told? Will I work hard? Ack, why can't I just forget about this stuff?

As time passes on I am finding out more and more as to how much of a coward I really am. It is very humbling, embarrassing, and annoying.

TheEssenceOfLife

Volume V already, huh? It has been almost two years since I started this blog... Time sure does move fast when you are the least aware of it.

Being the last teenager in my family gives me exclusive privileges to be naive. After all, I am just a teenager! I will only be able to play this card for a couple more years till I will have to, sadly, revoke that right. Being in your late teens in America. What is that like, exactly? It is just downright cruel. Uncertainty is the definition of my life since I turned 17. Question after question. some answered and some not. My dilemma starts with my future. What direction should I take? Kids usually find a dream or a goal to aspire to, don't they? I don't really have a dream. Nothing grabs my immediate attention.



Sports: Nah.
Occupation: Nothing
Social life: Da heck is that?
Goals in life: Why bother?

Being a Christian makes you realize two very depressing things in life:

1) You are absolutely hopeless.

2) Everything you achieve on this Earth will soon be reduced to zero when your life comes to a 'dead' end.

Of course I want to have a good job with a comfy house; nothing but a cushy life. That's the best, right? Sure, for now. But what about after you die? If I spend my whole life chasing after meaningless, temporal things then wouldn't I have wasted it? Wouldn't I have allowed my very existence to slip through my fingers? I figure I should only put minimal effort into my career. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not giving myself a free pass to be lazy. I should aspire to live a prosperous life. A good life, so I can provide for a family and treat them to wonderful things. But I don't think I should preoccupy myself with such mundane and, ultimately, worthless endeavors. With this mentality I find it hard to aim for college. Higher education has always been a good thing in human history, but is it worth spending your whole life trying to attain superficial knowledge? Superficial in the sense of being absolutely worthless when you pass (however, I am very grateful for the people who pursued the sciences, you know, computers are awesome). I listened to a song recently about a guy who was a very successful singer. In the song he said, "You can have my empire of dirt." It really dawned on me. Everything on this Earth came from dirt (even we came from dirt) so it will all just go back to dirt. So why waste my time working for dirt?

Well than, what should I work towards? I honestly don't know. The Great Commission? To be honest, I loathe the thought of being any sort of evangelist, preacher, missionary, etc. It jut isn't my thing. Does being a Christian MAKE it your thing? I don't know.

Maybe all my doubts and worries will clear up when I find new purpose in my life. Like starting a family. Having responsibility would probably give me a sense of belonging and worth. I mean, I don't have any self denial problems, but having people that depend on you would be nice. Nice in the sense of having a reason to work and push on. I hate to admit it, but having a girl in my life would reassure me of myself.

Aha, that sounds so lame when I read it to myself.

That verse always pops up in my head when I think about my future. You know, the one about seeking the Kingdom of God first and foremost. What does that even mean? Pray and read the Bible? Work hard and be forgiving and generous to others? Preach the Gospel? All of the above? I don't know. Or maybe I do know, I just choose to claim ignorance instead of take responsibility. There has to be reason why God saved me. He could have saved me later on in my life or He could not have saved me at all. But He did. He decided to save me right from the get-go. When I was 13 or 14 I called myself a Christian. So here I am 4 years later with nothing but bewilderment.

Why did You save me so early? Why couldn't You have saved me after I have lived my life? Why must I go through these things now? Though saying so makes me sound ignorant to the blessings that He has given me up to this point. Christians who have been saved at the end of their lives always wished that they were saved sooner. I wonder if I was in their place, would I share the same sentiments? There is a reason for my early Christianity. WHAT IS THE REASON?!? But the classic response continually comes back to haunt me:

"I just simply don't know."

                                                                                                       ~Missingnomer