TheCrushingWeightOfBlessing

I told my sister as I slowly ease into maturity, I am realizing how immature I really am. Responsibilities that every person has to have to simply operate in this modern world are no existent to my life. Laundry, cooking (most of the time), working, and simple house cleaning are all taken care of by my loving parents (oh, and let's not forget my sister). Remember how I said I was going to get a job this Summer? Well, that seemed like a good idea at the time. It still is! Somewhere deep inside, my mind is telling me that getting a job will forever change my life. It will open a whole new door that has never been touched before. It is another faculty of life that I must experience if I wish to survive. Once I open that door, nothing will look the same.

July is the month of fatigue. Yes, I have fatigued on laziness many times before. This is no different. I knew this feeling would hit me sooner or later (usually in July). It always does whenever I have a long break from school. My siblings talk about spending their time productively and how they base their days off of the productive activity they indulged in during the waking hours. For me? I actually count the hours of laziness I waste away in a day to measure how well it went. Summer is the season of amazing days. Every year this feeling of joy diminishes bit by bit. Maturity is a nasty thing. At least that is what my kid-self is yelling in my head. The mature-self (is that what I should call it?) is pointing at the thing I should be doing whenever I twiddle my fingers and stare at a screen doing nothing. Yes, there are a few things I should dedicate time to, but it is just so much easier to watch a TV show or play a game. I have been getting better, though. Maybe I should tell you a little bit about that.

For the past few weeks I have been getting more and more involved in the College Ministry. The ministry has grown a lot over the last year. Watching and observing the hand of God working in this ministry has been a life-changing experience. The people around me have started to become friends. Last year, when I was stressing over applying to college, I was scared that I wouldn't make any friends in this new land of Texas. Yet, here I am with a huge group of fellow believers that all consider me a friend; a brother in Christ. My desire for friendship has been fulfilled in a way I never could have imagined. I remember praying for just one good friend. I got about a dozen, now. Sure, I don't know them all that well. But I am starting to realize that I don't need to know every single friend as well as I use to. The only friends I ever had were few and far between back in Hawaii. I felt like I needed to be super close and intimate with all of my friends. Nah, intimacy is something that can only be achieved with a few people in one lifetime. Friends are people I should feel free to share problems, ideas, and life with. Everyone in the College ministry are people I can comfortably communicate to about things concerning faith, school, and relationships. What else is there in life?

In the last month, I have tried to bring the people under the ministry closer together with movie nights. I want our members to be good friends with one another. Iron sharpeneth iron, right? Also, I really do want to be good friends with everyone since they are all wonderful people of God. Thankfully, the events have been successful. Being a part of a big group of friends is a surreal experience. Drama is apparently a thing, even if all of the people in the group are fellow believers. Sheesh!

The future of the College Ministry is blindingly bright. I can only see it growing while each member grows in the faith. We are all young believers with a lot of room for spiritual growth. God has placed us in this ministry because it is where we are supposed to be. I hope and pray that every member feels the same.

This July 4th marked the beginning of my last year as a teenager. It is unnerving and exciting. My first year of college is over, I am part of a thriving ministry, and I am only growing. The blessings present in my life are mind-numbing. I have no worries or unmet needs. What should I do with myself? I have a few more years left of schooling, so I can't do what I want to do right now. All I can do is dedicate my time to studies, help my friends grow in their faith, and share the gospel in any way I can. Once I graduate, I want to sacrifice my life for God. God want's me to sacrifice my life for others: my parents, siblings, friends, and, most importantly, my future family. Er, I have been thinking about that last one more and more as the days go on...

Ack! There is simply too much time between now and then to even waste time thinking about such things. My mind has been bloated with thoughts about how I should study the Bible for a Bible study I wish to lead in the near future. I have never lead a Bible study before. After watching my peers lead a few, I feel more confident about the idea of doing it. It is weird, but during a particular Bible study our leader had to lead it. Time for preparation was short, but at the end of the night I felt like it was the most, if not the best Bible study we had yet. The Spirit leads, not the person. Those words are starting to mean something to me.