TheGiverAndTheGiven

It seemed like such a long time: three months. When the first day of 90 begins, you always get that feeling of 'yeah, this is going to last forever!' Oh, but it doesn't. There is an end for every great ride.

This Summer would take pages to summarize. Who want's to read that, right? I kind of do, but I also kind of have to type it out sooo nope. August is that last precious month before another semester rears its ugly head. This August is no different, yet the ugly head doesn't look as ugly as last year. I spent a week of my Summer visiting my Eldest Sage Sibling (did I get that right?) accompanied with my Elder Sage Sibling. Do I need to expound on this eventful week? Here, let's recap detail-free:

Two quick plane rides to Idaho with one including an infernal demon baby with a scream of a dog-sized bat. Finally laying eyes on my Eldest Sage Sibling's living quarters was quite the experience. It wasn't nice but it wasn't particularly ugly. Everything seemed to be fine. We didn't have much time to dwell there anyways since we immediately headed towards the main objective of the trip: Yellowstone National Park. Was it nice? Yeah. Pretty? Oh, the landscapes were painted by God Himself, so why wouldn't they be? Apparently, wildlife is a thing, so both of the Sage Siblings were constantly reminding me the importance of loud noises and crumb-less meals. Overall, the entire camping trip of three nights was pure joy. Sure, the back-breaking hikes (sponsored by the Eldest Sage) were strenuous, but the memories are priceless. No animal attacks, no fatalities, no injuries, and numerous photos and videos. So I rate this 10/10 would rather go to a city next time.

Only a couple of weeks remain between me an abyss of papers and tests. Ahhh, the joy of being a first world child! The thinking process starts in fear and ends with content. I can do this. I already did it twice. Nothing but myself can prevent me from doing my best, right? I'll take it head on. After all, what else is there to do?

Last year during this time I was the definition of a cynic. I didn't want to go to college for the sole reason of my thinking it was pointless. We only have 70 or 80 years of life (if you don't get hit by a twinkie truck). What's the point of wasting 4 (maybe even more) of those years studying things that will all be worthless when I die? I mean, when I die what will I take with me? My knowledge? The papers I wrote? That pointless piece of paper sasying "You Did It, Missingnomer. You Spent $$$ For Me! Love ME!" No, thank you. I'd rather live meagerly until the day I die. No point in gaining earthly riches, amirite?

BUT THEN!!!

I found out that the education wasn't even the point. Sure, it is the reason for everyone going to college. But I got something way better than knowledge. I grew in the spirit. Since I joined that little, humble College Ministry (at the time it was only called that), I transformed. My cynical side has been greatly reduced. My spirit has flourished in such a short amount of time. There is still so much room to grow! I could go on, but you kind of get the idea. Life is slowly beginning to unravel and I am enjoying every minute of it.

The new semester is going to introduce a lot of new experiences, I am sure. The last two were packed with them. My future is still so blurry. I am still not sure if I want to major in Computer Engineering. I don't particularly like math, but I don't mind it too much. I was talking with a fellow leader in BSM (Baptist Student Ministry, apparently we are official now) and we were talking about grades and such. It is so hard to balance the personal effort and the blessings of God. How much of it is mine to revel in? None of it. It is all His. So what if I get a B? Did God only want me to get a B? The conversation was interesting and made me confused. He said that whenever he begins a class he tells himself that God already gave him the A, now he just has to reach out and take it. I suppose that is the best way to understand how that whole dynamic works. The thing that stuck out to me during the whole dialogue was when he said that we have the Holy Spirit. The Spirit has full understanding and complete wisdom over everything. If that same Spirit lives within me, then shouldn't I ask Him to bless me with the understanding for math? Or how to write college-level papers? My spirit is blessed with the presence of the Almighty. All I have to do is call upon him for guidance, understanding, wisdom, and patience for all my school studies. I have to ask and rely upon Him if I hope to attain what He has already given me. So, at the end of the day, my works are fruits of His perfection. When I think about that, I tend to get a little emotional, you know? Like a little female dog.