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The long pause on this blog shall end.

A lot has transpired over the last couple of months. For one, I have finished my first Summer class I have ever taken. Sadly, it probably wont be the last. But it was exciting, to say the least. I don't know, my Dear Readers, life just seems to be a vacuum for me. No matter how many times I reach the end of one year, the next one greets me with cold arms. The arms are getting colder every year.

I know it will end one day, but when is that day? When will the pieces start coming together? All I see are fragments. Fragments with no direction. The melancholy state is the easiest of all states. It requires no effort and sits well with my disposition. I still have that terrible habit of shutting out the outside world when I am busy with school. Yeah, I tend to do school eight out of the four months of the year, so that would make this particular habit a bad habit.

I thought this coming semester would require me to frequent two colleges. Thankfully, I wont be, but the bad news is that my remaining degree plan is not looking pretty. I mean 'taking a lot hard classes at once and for a long time' not looking pretty. Also, I probably wont graduate in four years. More like in five. You know what gets me every time? My naive and inexperienced mind.

Alright, let's get to the real stuff. My 'coming of age' growth is as slow as time, so we aren't moving anywhere anytime soon. Spirituality is where it's at! That changes every second. No, I am not exaggerating. I haven't attended a service regularly at all. In fact, I have carved it out of my schedule. I don't even consider it when the weekend comes around. The only thing that can change this is to surround myself with fellow believers. I believe it has come to a point where solitude does absolutely nothing when it comes to my walk with Jesus. I just can't do anything when I am left to myself. However, every single time I am with other fellow believers encouraging and being encouraged it is a completely different story. It's like the spirit within me wakes up. It goes back to sleep relatively fast when I am left to myself. My personal, intimate walk with Christ is as fresh as moldy bread. I always hear pastors talk about starting with your heart and working your way out. Maybe I have been doing it backwards this whole time. Reaching out to others is the last stage.

Listen, I know what I believe. My faith is in Christ. I believe he died and rose the third day for me. He died and shed his blood to restore my broken soul into perfect fellowship with God, Himself. I understand the morality, the crucial theology, and the increasing necessity to study Scripture. But.

But.

People are just too important. I feel like they are my motivation. My motivation should be Jesus, and only him. I believe I am doing it for him, but I also know I am doing it for others around me too. When I don't have one or the other I am lost. Just a stray sheep doing nothing with himself.

Dear Readers, if your still there, please pray for me. I know I'm not.