ThePrayerForPatience

Surprise! I felt like writing another post instead of waiting another year and half for the next one. One big thing has been rapidly developing. So rapidly, in fact, that I felt like I should type my feelings out right now instead of waiting till later. What is the big thing? Well, in my last post, I eluded to it ever so slightly. I wasn't sure what it was going to develop into at the time, but now? Now, I am very confident.

Looks like I am getting married this year.

Now, I have talked to my loved ones about this over the last couple of months. It sounds like things are going way too fast. I started dating her in the middle of September and now I am planning on marrying her only after four months of dating. How on earth can I be so confident about it? To be honest, the only answer I can come up with is that in my prayer and mediation about it I feel at peace. That's it. And when I think about it, that is all I really need. Peace in my spirit.

She is an amazing person. She loves Jesus, has a loving family, kind, empathetic, practical, and, of course, beautiful. But I am not floating in the clouds. She isn't perfect, and neither am I. We have a lot of room to grow in our love for Jesus and each other. It is really hard to describe in words how I feel about the whole situation. When I say, "We have been dating for four months." It sounds like such a short amount of time, but when I ask myself what we have done in the last four months? We have had countless conversations with each other about so many different things. I know so much about her. Enough to love her and want to be with her. But do I?

On an emotional and spiritual level, it just feels right. My spirit is so at peace when I think about spending the rest of my life with her. I truly believe that if God did not want us to be together my spirit wouldn't nearly be so peaceful about it. Over the last few months I have spent a lot more time in prayer and the Word. It has been wonderful. If anything, this relationship is showing me how much I need Jesus. How I need to rely on Him daily for wisdom and guidance. I have never dated anyone before. All of these experiences are new, but they aren't scary or stressful. I can only give the praise and credit to Him for that.

There are two sides in my heart fighting each other, right now. One of them is saying, "Why wait? Get married as soon as possible!" The other is saying, "This just doesn't feel right. Things are going too smoothly." I am both giving them their time to argue their case, but I don't know which one is right. Am I being too hasty? Too analytical? Too pessimistic? I don't know. My loved ones encourage me to take my time, but for what? To get to know her more? I don't think there is anything I could find out about her that I don't know yet that would change the outcome.

I am extremely confident I am going to marry her. I just don't know when I should marry her. Is there even a right answer to this question?

So I am doing the only thing I know I should do: Pray. I am doing a lot of praying. As time goes on, I am genuinely finding it hard to argue against just proposing to her now and getting married as soon as possible. But I have always heard of people rushing into marriage and regretting it. But a lot of those people aren't believers, so should I even care about their experiences? What would I regret or miss or be sad about if we got married today? Right now? I just don't see it. Or maybe I don't want to see it. I feel like doubting myself for the foreseeable future doesn't sound healthy.

What do you think, Dear Readers? Should I pop the question soon? Or wait? Besides, you aren't even married when you do propose. It would take at least three months or more to actually tie the knot.

Pray for me. I need all of it. God is guiding us. I just want to make sure I am not pushing that guidance off the tracks.

I wonder how I will look back on this post. Hopefully, it is just a good laugh.