EvenASproutTriesItsBestToTouchGod

I write this for posterity. This feeling I have right now is simple. I just feel grateful to God for all of His blessings. A lot of things have happened since my last post. Happiness, sadness, pain, frustrations, anxiety, stress, relief, and the list goes on. However, even though my life is a rollercoaster of emotion (just emotion, my life is pretty boring compared to anyone's), God is still there. He is always present. Just waiting for me to notice Him. I do notice Him from time to time like how you would notice a penny on the ground. But this is more of like a reminder than gaining one cent more to your name. It is more like you just realized that the goal you were chasing wasn't Him and you want to knock yourself on the side of the head.

I started a new job.

Everyone I have told has given me words of encouragement and praise. I know it is all thanks to God, but you can't help but think that you really did have some part in all of it. I suppose I did in the sense that I ultimately had to say yes to His calling, but I truly wonder if this is His calling? Does God want me to have a cushy job? Or does He want me to serve His Kingdom? The answer is pretty obvious.

So it sorta makes me wonder if everything I have been doing up to this point has a point. Does this ultimately serve God's kingdom? I honestly don't know. I suppose through His infinite wisdom He can do whatever He wants with what I can offer Him. He can turn my job into an instrument. I suppose I will have to let Him do just that.

I am taking it day by day.

Some things have been happening recently. I am a very pragmatic person. I never want to count my chickens before they hatch. I never want to say what it will be when I don't know what it is. Things are slowly coming together. Only time can really tell what will happen in the coming months, but things are definitely happening. God has been so good to me this year.

I started going to a new church. It is a lovely community. They love Jesus and each other so much that it makes the 40 minute drive there on Sunday worth it every time. I could find a church much closer, but something tells me this is where God wants me to be. I also started attending their small group every Thursday. Well, I say every Thursday, but I have only been going sporadically since it started. My life is actually busy now.

This whole time my life has been bent towards free time. Minimize work, minimize socializing, and minimizing things I have to do. All for the sake of adding as much "free time" to my life as possible. I would revel in those long hours and days with nothing to do. Why did I love those times so much? Because they were simple? Probably because they were easy. No challenges, no chances to make mistakes.

I barely have any time to play video games anymore. I would play for dozens of hours every week. I would look forward to the weekends where I wouldn't leave my room. Now I can't wait to jump out of my room and do something new. I guess you could say I am growing up...

Is it already time to be a grown up? I am 26 years old. Time isn't slowing down. It only seems to go faster. How will I look back on my time spent in my early 20s. Will I be sad? Regretful? Happy?

Joyful 2022, my Dear Readers. I may have left for a while, but I am always here. Living my life. Praying. Working through things one day at a time. I suppose that is not a bad way to go about things.